It is a sad day when I have nothing to prattle on about. Quite frankly, the last two weeks have been that way. Oh I've been busy - working the "straight job", trying to buy the other pro shop in town, working in the one I currently own, some laundry, some beers, attending a wedding, and attending to my cat's sinus infection. Big laughs all around. This lack of free time has severely limited the amount of stupid crap I can entertain and therefore I become less interesting to read. Let's face it, stories make the blog go 'round. And I have no stories. Well, there are a few things worth mentioning:

- In six weeks I've bowled exactly four games on a house shot. I'm aiming for less than ten for an entire summer. It's a damn shame that bowling centers can't put out a challenging shot on a few lanes on a daily basis, not just the Sunday before the PBA Experience league night. I suppose I should be grateful that there are two such leagues in town and centers that will preview the upcoming oil pattern at all.

- I've taken another bit of inspiration from my PBA Regional experience to finally express my bowling scores (which don't matter, generally speaking) the way PBA tournaments do, by using the plus/minus system in relation to 200. That is, subtract 200 from the scores of the games you bowl, then add the remainders together. Thus, a 204, 208, 194 series becomes a "+6" (the sum +4, +8, and -6, respectively). For me, this is a much more elegant and concise way of describing dominance or disgrace on the lanes. Like this:

Last Wednesday on the Shark pattern: +7 (three games)

Yesterday on same pattern, different house : -92 (four games)

See? Isn't that better than a bunch of three-digit numbers strung together? And you can use the extra space to describe the pattern or the type of lane surface or whether you were hung over when you bowled. I'm telling you, the PBA has something right there.

- In an ESPN The Magazine story on Patrick Allen a few years ago, the author described women who hang out around Tour stops looking for some other kinds of pro bowler "action". He said they were referred to by players as "slump-breakers". Well, I didn't have to go to a bowling alley (nor did any money change hands), but consider my slump broken. Not proud of my actions necessarily - but it seemed the right thing to do at the time. I will now shut the hell up about that. Got in trouble the last time I blabbed.

Tom Waits is an all-or-nothing proposition. You either like his delivery and his storytelling or you skip this part of the blog. The song is "Burma Shave", written around the idea that Burma Shave is a real destination and not an ad campaign for shaving cream. The lyric that gets me:

She put her knees up on the glove compartment

And she took out her barrets

And her hair spilled out like root beer

And she popped her gum and arched her back

That's sexier than just about anything.

This is from the movie "Big Time" a strangely romantic dirge called "Shore Leave". (If you're at all interested, you can experience one of the greatest love songs here and one of the saddest ever written here.